We have reached the halfway point through our experiment. I began by saying that I would update my blog weekly to let you know how we are doing, but obviously that hasn't happened.
Our experiment to begin ridding our family of the entitlement mentality began two weeks ago. We are starting at the very basic level of everyday comforts. The food we eat, the entertainment we give ourselves to the "rights" we feel are ours simply because our culture declares they are ours. My main goal in this isn't to take away comfort so we can associate with another culture that is less affluent than ours, that is one aspect, but to open our eyes as a family to all that we have and the mindset we have settled for that gives our bodies comfort but takes away from us in so many other ways.
Here are some of my observations.
First of all entertainment in the form of screen time has been eliminated almost completely. No movies, no TV shows, no DS gametime, no computer time. Now there are exceptions. (We listen to music through our Wii on our Youtube playlists and some of those come with pictures etc.) The first thing I noticed is that our home became instantly more peaceful. Neither my 10 year old or my 11 year old are asking for it. They are old enough to understand the journey we are on and they are willing to go there with us. Not only is the noise gone from the entertainment devices, but my children are actually more peaceful.
One of the main purposes here is to cause our minds to become more creative. I wanted the entertainment devices to be replaced with imagination, creativity that comes from using their brains. It took a week but it worked!!!
I am calling the first week detox week. This is what it looked like:
- First few days were painfully boring. They couldn't figure out what to do with that extra time. Lots of whining. "I'm bored" was met with the response, "ok, you find something to do or I will find something for you to do." I explained the list of jobs I had in mind and they quickly decided they would find their own fun.
- The fun they found to do at first was very minimal. They were shocked at how long the hours were and how short lived the fun they came up with lasted.
- The first few days were hard but by the end of the third day there was so much more peace in our house. The kids were playing together more, lego creations became more elaborate. My son that isn't drawn naturally to being creative with legos or art became more entertained by them and able to sit and create more freely. By the end of yesterday, two weeks into our experiment they played for about 4 hours with just creative game after creative game, almost no fighting, lots of laughter, they were able to include their sister in some ways instead of being impatient with her level of play. I've seen the friendship level increase between my kids that hasn't been there in a long time.
The second week was pretty loose in terms of our diet. My family had a family reunion with my brother and his family coming from Virginia for several days. We enjoyed lots of food and family time. We knew at the beginning of this experiment that this was coming and that we would take a break from the limited diet. We have been eating mostly rice, some pasta, tons of veggies and fruit and a limited amount of meat, but not sugar, processed food or sugary drinks. Even with just one week on that diet and our bodies reacted poorly to sugar when we enjoyed some at our reunion. It was eye opening for my kids to feel poorly after eating what would have been normal for us before. I found both boys limiting themselves after that realization which is exactly what we were hoping for.
The best part of what we've seen though isn't the self control they are exhibiting with food or the even the increase of sibling love, but the agreement we have seen in all three of our oldest kids. They see the value in this lifestyle. They have seen firsthand the value in doing something as a family and the peace it has brought- agreement, not because we told them to agree with us, but because they want to.
Agreement is the only way things get done. I didn't expect that to be the lesson we pull out of this experiment, but it is quickly becoming apparent that it is the number one benefit.
Each of us identify who we were created to be and then we find out who each other is and we weave our giftings and identities together into a tapestry called the Burgess family. We understand that who I was created to be needs the elements of who the others were created to be in order to be complete and vice versa, we can go a lot further together than we ever could by ourselves. That is agreement at it's core and that is why family is such a good idea.
