Cast

We have broken bones in our house.

I'm just going to be really really vulnerable here. This morning I have a cast on. It's not a cast you can see, it's an internal cast on my heart. Here is the analogy.

My son broke his leg a couple years ago. At first we weren't sure it was broken because he seemed to be ok after the initial pain was gone, but after a few hours we realized he was favoring it a bit much and we needed to take him in. He had never broken a bone, so he couldn't communicate that he thought it was broken and being only 7 he wanted to continue playing. Finally we got him into the ER and after x-rays we discovered it was indeed broken. Now there are two things that happen when you get hurt physically. 1-  It feels like that one part is 5 times larger than life and pretty much all you can think about. You eat, sleep, play and rest differently than you otherwise would. 2- It seems to be the part that gets bumped more often than it otherwise would. Whether that is true because it is extra sensitive or because it is being used awkwardly doesn't really matter, all that matters is that it hurts, like the dickens and even more so because it is injured.

Now with a broken leg like Micah's you can do two things, you can tell everyone around you about it, making sure they take extra precautions around you, you can hang signs around your neck declaring your injury and eliciting attention, sympathy and usually drawing out in other people the stories of their injuries and painful experiences which leads to a retelling of the incident and proper responses on both sides. After such an interaction the two parties depart leaving each other temporarily relieved that they got to find common ground in their pain, and got to tell their story, but nothing has changed, no healing has happened, in fact it usually leaves the two parties even more sensitive to the existing pain and although the relief can feel temporary it often leaves them more hurt than before because the problem wasn't dealt with, only remembered. Misery loves company.

The second thing you can do is go to the physician. Get an xray, allow the Dr. to see past what we can see with our physical eyes and see what is really going on so that a proper diagnosis can be made. Once the problem has been properly diagnosed then a regimen can be prescribed and true healing can begin. In Micah's case a cast was put on, allowing the offending part to be protected from his environment and his 7 year old lifestyle. He returned to a somewhat normal life with relatively normal activity. Although his cast drew attention it was healing properly and after a while didn't hurt. I have heard that after a bone is broken and healed properly that specific part is actually stronger than before.

The same is true for our hearts and emotions. After years of life and experience (almost 40) I realize everyone has places of wounding, pain, raw insecurity. I even want to be so bold as to say most of us have become experts at ignoring those offending places. We protect, ignore, try to control our environments so that we can keep those hurt places "safe", but life happens and unfortunately we have to live with other people that can't read our minds, remember our places of pain or watch out to keep us pain free.... It's like being in a room with a whole bunch of wounded people and trying to move around without bumping someone's broken leg, arm, head or toe... it's impossible.

Many of us try hanging a sign around our necks declaring our place of pain. This feels so good because we think "if people only knew what I've been through they would treat me differently" or "no one understands my profound pain, it's worse than anyone else's pain and the life they have lived is nothing compared to mine". We reason that we have a "right" to be treated with extra care. When we try to get the proper care from others we find they are also injured and literally incapable of properly caring for our needs. There is wide gambit of dysfunctions that come with this kind of thinking, way to many to get into in depth here, we've all seen the effects.

However, there is a better way. Every once in a while we meet someone that has seen the Physician about their pain. They have gotten a proper diagnosis, have had the root of the pain revealed and a regimen of healing prescribed. They have allowed themselves to be set in a cast and protected like only a Dr. can. Although the cast itself will illicit some attention for a time after a while the healing takes place and when the cast is removed the internal healing has happened and the injury is removed. It has healed properly and can become a place of greater strength than ever before.

I need to go to the Dr. often. I'm getting good at it. If you see me don't ask how I'm healing. My cast is doing it's job and I'm under expert care.