Where do I begin?

There are weeks where we live day in and day out and nothing seems like it will ever change. Same old routine, same schedule, same meals to plan, same plans to fulfill.... Then there are those days that are game changers. We usually don't get to know they are coming or even that they have arrived until they are upon us and we find out what we are really made up of.

We will all face these kinds of days. Days that start out ordinary, just getting up, beginning the routine but eventually a wrench is thrown in the plans and the day quickly shifts to something different, something FAR from ordinary. Those are the days where you will quickly find out if you are a wise steward of your inner life or a foolish one.

One of those days happened to me just 11 short days ago. My Dad has battled cancer very bravely for 7 years and although he was declining we were still filled with great faith that the end of the battle would look a certain way. When a battle ends and it looks quite different than you imagined it would, what do you do? Where do you put your feet? Who do you look to?

Just 11 short days ago I got to sit beside my Dad as he was quickly and painlessly ushered into the presence of the LORD. I have never been with someone when they died. Never seen the process end so suddenly. I can say without reservation it was the single most amazing experience of my entire life. Too precious to discuss in detail here.

Although the battle ended much differently than I imagined we were struck with the amazing peace we had. There is something incredibly wonderful about seeing someone who was suffering so terribly for so long, peacefully walk from this world into the next.

Several things have happened in this process.

First of all, I have never felt such a clear shift from one season to the next as I did that very moment. It was as real as if I had seen a hand move to the page of my life and turn it, writing the title of the next chapter on the blank sheet in front of me. I knew we were facing something brand new and nothing would ever be the same. Not good, not bad just very, very different.

Second, there were scripture verses that came to life in ways I've never experienced. Ones I had memorized and quoted at different times all my life that became more real than ever. "The peace of God that passes understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus"... That scripture became like a blanket wrapped around us.

Third there was a sweet sense of peace because the LORD walked with us so closely. As the battle for Dad's health began intensifying I told the LORD, no matter how this battle ends, I don't want to have any regrets. So I made some intentional decisions in that season that kept me constantly living in the moment, pressing in for healing for my Dad. When it was all said and done I was able to say with intense peace that I have no regrets because we lived everyday in relationship with the LORD.

Heaven is more real to me now than ever before. I can't explain it. I just know I want to go, when it's time and I want to take as many people with me as I can. I find myself thinking of things that were foremost in my mind a day or two ago have now moved off the front burner and been replaced by things that didn't occupy more than a passing thought before.

We are on a journey. One that has just begun. It's thrilling, uncertain, overwhelming, but ends in the best possible way if we choose to do it right. Everything has been flipped and turned and scattered and rearranged and it is the sweetest chaos I've ever experienced.